Shower Time!
by izedlatte
Summary: Just as the title says, it's Shower Time!!! Nothing graphic..... I swear. Just Sephiroth taking a shower with a few complications. I think up weird fic ideas in the shower.


AN- Sephiroth is of course the property of squaresoft and I obviously don't own Kodak. Yeah, this idea actually came to me in the shower. I brew tons of ideas in the shower or the wee hours of the morning. That explains a lot of things.  
Sephiroth let out a long, heavy sigh as he trudged around his lair in North Cave. He'd been in a horrible mood ever since his humiliating defeat from Cloud. It was a complete mystery to him how that dense little blonde could've possibly ruined his years of evil plotting with a single attack.  
  
He half fell into his favorite leather chair, causing some stray strands of hair to fall in front of his face. Being bored as hell, Sephiroth started examining the thin white strands. Each of them was unusually greasy. Then it hit him. He hadn't taken a shower since he had left SOLDIER!!!!  
  
With that he headed for his luxury bathroom that he had apparently never used before. It was amazing what threatening the lives of a few business owners could get you nowadays. He turned the faucet to a moderately hot temperature and, as any person wanting to take a shower would, got in.  
  
**We now take you to Sephiroth's head, please keep all appendages inside the tram at all times.**  
  
Mmmmm...... I haven't taken a shower in so long. I'd almost forgotten what it feels like. Maybe I could've killed that Ancient by just taking off my shirt. Ha! That would've been a Kodak moment for sure!  
  
*looking for shampoo* Now lets see. Which shampoo shall I use? I have mango, cheery cherries and mangos, mango and coconut smoothie, freshly sliced mango sprinkled with shredded coconut and a hint of lemon, sun- ripened mangos with..... wait! Who the heck bought all of these?! O well.... I guess just mango will have to work.  
  
*washing hair* Ahhh..... much better... I really need to do this more often. *feels a knot* Huh? A knot dares to gather in MY gorgeous locks?! We'll just see about this! *starts trying to untangle the knot* Grrrr..... damn this knot..... damn it to the lifestream..... *pulls harder* Almost got it...... *jerks it hard and a gnome tumbles out into the shower* What in the name of Jenova?!  
  
**We momentarily leave Sephiroth's thoughts.**  
  
The gnome brushes off it's now soaking tiny purple and green outfit. Sephiroth just stands there speechless, watching the strange creature. Soon, Sephiroth's curiosity and slight anger toward the little man force him to speak, "Who the fic are you and why were you in my hair?!"  
  
Now realizing the considerably taller man near him, the gnome looks up. Shocked, and slightly embarrassed by seeing a stranger in the shower, he turns away. Then, he responds, "I am the gnome of Knotting Hairm and I live.... well lived in the knot in your hair. Now I must be off to find another home! Good day to you, sir." *poof*  
  
**We are once again in Sephiroth's mind.**  
  
How long has he been in there?! Why didn't I notice him before?! Damn those gnomes!! *sigh* O well, I'll just destroy him later. Now let's see, what comes after my hair? Right! Soap!  
  
*grabs his washcloth* Which soap shall I use? I see papaya, papaya with strawberries, papaya and whipped cream delight.... wait a second..... Not again! As soon as I get out of this shower I'm gunna kill whoever buys this stuff!! *grabs papaya, but it slips out of his grasp and to the floor* DAMN IT!!!! *he tries to pick it up again, but this time it shoots up into his eye* OWWW!!! FFFFFFFFFFFFF*#%^&@#%^*^$#!!!!! *he stumbles around holding his eye and accidentally slips on a wild shower bass* WHAAAAAAA!!!!!!! *THUD* ....ulk.......... I think I broke my spleen. Wait? Do I even have a spleen? OWWWWW!!!!! Well I know I broke something and it hurts like $*^@#~(!!!! Note to self: Kill gnomes AND shower bass!! Why do we even have a shower bass?! Damn fish!! JUST DAMN!!!  
  
**You are now leaving Sephiroth's mind. Ya'll come back now.**  
  
Sephiroth slowly rises and turns off the water. He is beginning to bruise near his eye and spleen area. There's a muffled 'Last time I take a shower....' while Sephiroth tries to reorient himself.  
  
Suddenly, the sound of shattering window glass fills the room and there's a soft thump of someone landing on the bathroom tile. A soft 'Ow! Stupid glass!' reaches Sephiroth's ears from the other side of the shower's curtain. Without warning, a brown haired girl jerks back the curtain and is followed by a click and a blinding flash of light. Sephiroth blinks in blind confusion as the girl exits as quickly as she appeared out the broken window. She screams something sounding like, "Cloud is gunna flip when he sees this! I'll get that date for sure now!!"  
  
As soon as her scream had gone, a lighter brown haired girl pops out of the toilet looking pissed off. Sephiroth is still dazed from the flash and just stands there. This girl says, "That Tifa thinks she's got me beat. Well she's got another thing comin'!!" With that, she shoves a rubber ducky in Sephiroth's hand, sticks his free thumb in his mouth, and snaps a picture. She, too, rushes out the window and into the distance.  
  
Completely lost by what had just stands there with a blank stare. As it occurs to him, he turns a bright shade of pink and melts into a lump on the tile floor. Normally, you would expect him to run after them with his long sword, but, no, he melted. Yup, he just melted like butter. Mmmm..... butter is good with pancakes....  
It took me forever, but I finally finished this fic. Tell me what you think. Should I drink more caffeine before I write these?? Do I have to rack my brain for a sequel?? Will the gnome move into Cloud's hair?? Why do I ask so many questions?! 


End file.
